6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Apparently you make a good broom.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
