I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
What a fucking waste of an outfit
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
