How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
