One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
