My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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