wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it's like iHOP with fire
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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