they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
