ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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