Its about making memories worth repressing
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Four minutes until I can fart!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
