I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize