i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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