I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
