Kiss
Puke
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
