I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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