that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
