Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize