End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
