I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
