Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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