I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
