I don't think brook has ever known best
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
