Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
