my vag is so smooth its legendary
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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