I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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