Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
