I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
