No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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