i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
