Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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