with your own penis?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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