pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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