As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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