my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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