All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
