I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
