Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
