just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
