So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
