Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
