its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
