what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize