if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
