they need to just BURY HIM!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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