How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
