dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
