So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
