its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
false alarm, still single
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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