can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
