He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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