I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
