I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize