Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
