Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
