I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize