You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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