Plan B is the new Plan A
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
