Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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