4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize