He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
