how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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